The Journey of a Stitching Project

Today I finished a stitching project that I've had for 4 years. Seems a little long when you look at that simple statement; but this project has been through a lot of life with me during that time. You see, I started this project one night when I was rushing out the door in September 2008 to take my Mom to the hospital. I had recently been to my Local Needlework Shop to pick out the fabrics and threads, I grabbed it along with my needle pack and scissors and was out the door. Everyone knows the emergency room wait takes forever and what better way to pass the time than with needle and thread? Any stitcher can tell you how people will smile and watch you working away while they either wonder why bother or isn't that neat ~ they didn't think people did that kind of stuff anymore.

Throughout the course of the next couple of months it seemed this little project made the same frantic flight to the hospital with me and my Mom until December 16, 2008; which made a difference in all of our lives. That day I stood clutching this little scrap of fabric in my hand while the doctor informed me Mom had suffered a major heart attack and that while the chances were slim, he had called for a helicopter transport to rush her to Washington DC's National Heart Center to see what could be done for her. It caught a couple of tears as he gently informed me that it was best if I called any of our family that would want to be in route to there because she may not make it. This little stitching project was stuffed unceremoniously in my stitching bag as I went in the room with the doctor and my Mom to break the news to her that her heart was seriously damaged and to tell her I had to get on my way to meet her there.

The next day it was taken along to another hospital to be worked with while I waiting through several grueling hours waiting to see if Mom would make it through the quintuple bypass surgery that would be required to save her life. That surgery only took about 7 1/2 hours but it seemed like a lifetime and making these little x's in fabric helped keep my sanity through that wait. When the doctor came out and told us she had pulled the surgery but would be on life support until the shock to her system had passed, my hands shook so uncontrollably I could hardly undo the hoop which I had been using.

Throughout the next 2 weeks, I sat in Washington with my Mom watching her long, slow return from the brink of death with this little stitching project to pass the time. Sometimes it hit the floor when an alarm would go off or she would call out for someone to hold her hand. Eventually she noticed me working on this little project and she sat and looked at it and we talked about how nice it would look in the camper when we went traveling again after her recovery. She would reach out and touch the stitches and remark how nice it was looking but how long it took to make something out of such small x's.

When Mom returned home, I came home to stay with her for a while to make sure she was okay and had everything she needed. This little stitching project came along although it didn't get much attention; there was so much to do and when I did sit down I barely would start and could feel my eyes shutting for sleep.

Then in March 2009, this little stitching project was put away for a long time. I had just buried my Mom and while the world seemed like it would end, I knew it wouldn't. However, I couldn't bear to look at this little cabin without tears springing to my eyes. How could everything end the way it did when I had so patiently and carefully been there every step of the way to ensure my Mom's health? Had I failed somewhere? What had I missed? Had I been stitching on this little piece of fabric and not been paying attention to something that had gone wrong?

Throughout the next few years, I would pull this project out and start to work on it only to remember the pain and the hopelessness and quickly it would be packed away again. Out of sight and out of mind. Eventually the winter of the heart passed and spring could bloom again. Every grief eventually gives away to remembrances of happier times and joy can return to one's life. Sometimes it takes longer than others but as they say hope springs eternal.

I promised myself I would finish this piece; it would be a remembrance of what all I learned throughout this process. While it was hard to learn to stand up for myself; to lose a parent and to learn you have to make your way through life without them; you can do it. Life continues and while you miss those loved ones that have passed, they helped shape the person you are today.

Now I look at this piece and realize the verse has a lot of meaning. "Stars light up the heaven when evening draws near guiding thy travels til sunlight appears"...... I like to think the stars are my Mom & Dad, Grandma & Grandpop, Granny & Poppy, Aunt Virginia & Uncle George and Aunt Laura & Uncle Roland. Some of these stars I never met and some I barely remember, but I imagine they are still up there helping set the course of my life.

I have tucked away my project bag with the tattered pattern inside. Now the stitching project is completed and will be making it's way to the LNS to be framed. The journey of this stitching project has been completed, but the reminder of the times and the lessons learned will be remembered every time I see it.